You smell like a Billy Joel song
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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