what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
