I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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