My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
