Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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