I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
