Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
