yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
