i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
