well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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