if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
