If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
