Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
