What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
