this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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