I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drake has all the answers
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
