Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
