You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
