We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
