my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
