Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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