Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
