shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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