I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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