He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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