you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
