i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
