I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
