i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
