Yo dont text me then not text me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
