it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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