I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
