3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm really into asian looking animals
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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