i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im holly from the hills drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Drunk is a universal language darling
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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