yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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