oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
