Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drunk is not a location!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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