he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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