I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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