We're facebook friends in real life
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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