yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
