And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
