the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
