this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
