Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
