Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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