When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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