i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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