I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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