is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
