I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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